Today I discovered – re-discovered, actually – the most wonderful blog on the internet. I actually stumbled across it about a year ago or so, but at the time I did not really realize what it was that I had found. And then today, somewhat out of boredom, I re-visited this site and took the time to really read it. Wow!
It is extinct now – the owner no longer seems to be blogging -- but that doesn’t really matter. There is plenty of back-log to keep me occupied for quite some time. The blog is so rich, that I can only read a little in one sitting.
Reading the blog has been a humbling experience. Even as I type my reaction to it here on my own blog, I find my thoughts disjointed – and pretty feeble. I seem to be unable to put together a coherent, logical, progressive reaction. But then, maybe I should not even try. Maybe everything I have ever tried to do has been too logical, too measured, too calculated. Every song I have ever written has been too planned, too structured and far, far too restrained.
There is a good deal of personal irony in reading this blog. I am going to be very cryptic and evasive here – I am going to try to be as clear as I can be without being really clear at all. How can I put this? I had once written a song about another experience similar to my discovery today in which I expressed a particular sentiment. It turns out that sentiment, that hope, that desire, was far truer than I could have known. And, I now wish it had not been so.
Oh well … what can I say? I need to do something different. I am going to start by spending some time with a really, really cool blog.
(Oh, and just in case you were wondering -- No, I am not going to tell you where it is or how to find it or any such thing. I'm just not sure how the author would feel about that. Sorry.)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Yet Another New Years Eve
And so it comes to this – another New Year’s Eve. In some ways, this one is special. Not only is it the end of a year, it is the end of a decade. And, it is also a blue moon to boot. Seems like the right time for what is becoming an increasingly rare commentary from yours truly.
I suppose it is never a good idea to tempt fate and never a good idea to speak – or write – in absolutes. But, I have just done the latter twice in one sentence. That having been said, the year 2009 was unquestionably the worst year of my increasingly lengthy life.
Were there blessings and things for which to be grateful? Yes, absolutely. I am still alive, still employed and relatively free of day-to-day survival worries. Other than a dwindling retirement fund, I have been pretty much unscathed by the economic woes that have devastated so many. I count many, many friends, continue to enjoy a little music and a little golf and usually find interesting ways to occupy my time.
But, it has also been a year of unprecedented loss. My ex-wife, with whom I was still very close, died in January and my mother passed away in July. My primary relationship that I thought would last for a long while ended in late May. Two good friends moved 1000 miles away and it is unlikely that I will ever see either one of them again. And, three close friends also saw their long-time relationships come to puzzling ends as well. Just this morning I read of the death of a long-time co-worker and golfing friend.
In January I inherited two cats, bringing my indoor total to four. I love cats. I mean, I REALLY love cats, and I would not give up any of the 4 that share my house. But, you know what? Four cats is a lot of cats! (Edited on 1/3/10 to avoid bad karma. )
The youngest of the four is 11, the oldest will be 19 in May. Two of them are somewhat sick and require daily medication. One goes to the vet every 10 days for fluids. I took her – Mittens – in on the first Friday of June expecting to have her put down. They suggested I give her the weekend. And now, she is still around and seemingly as spry as ever.
So, maybe this is a better time to focus on the positive. I fear that 2009 will not hold its record for being the worst year ever very long.
I suppose it is never a good idea to tempt fate and never a good idea to speak – or write – in absolutes. But, I have just done the latter twice in one sentence. That having been said, the year 2009 was unquestionably the worst year of my increasingly lengthy life.
Were there blessings and things for which to be grateful? Yes, absolutely. I am still alive, still employed and relatively free of day-to-day survival worries. Other than a dwindling retirement fund, I have been pretty much unscathed by the economic woes that have devastated so many. I count many, many friends, continue to enjoy a little music and a little golf and usually find interesting ways to occupy my time.
But, it has also been a year of unprecedented loss. My ex-wife, with whom I was still very close, died in January and my mother passed away in July. My primary relationship that I thought would last for a long while ended in late May. Two good friends moved 1000 miles away and it is unlikely that I will ever see either one of them again. And, three close friends also saw their long-time relationships come to puzzling ends as well. Just this morning I read of the death of a long-time co-worker and golfing friend.
In January I inherited two cats, bringing my indoor total to four. I love cats. I mean, I REALLY love cats, and I would not give up any of the 4 that share my house. But, you know what? Four cats is a lot of cats! (Edited on 1/3/10 to avoid bad karma. )
The youngest of the four is 11, the oldest will be 19 in May. Two of them are somewhat sick and require daily medication. One goes to the vet every 10 days for fluids. I took her – Mittens – in on the first Friday of June expecting to have her put down. They suggested I give her the weekend. And now, she is still around and seemingly as spry as ever.
So, maybe this is a better time to focus on the positive. I fear that 2009 will not hold its record for being the worst year ever very long.
Monday, January 19, 2009
We are All to Blame for Bush
I NEVER liked George W. Bush. Before he was elected for the first time, I posted a pretty lengthy piece on the previous 8 presidents before Bush. Four were Democrats, four were Republicans, and each had their strengths and weaknesses. In fact, I argued then, and will not repeat now, that each had a mirror image across the political aisle. I also felt, even then, that Bush was totally without redeeming value. And, as he leaves office, I still feel he was our worst president since at least the latter part of the 19th century and very likely our worse ever, if for no other reason than he had the opportunity to do so much more harm than those who held the office between Lincoln and TR. And today, this 19th day of January, 2009, editorial writers across the globe are getting in their last parting shots at the man who’s presidency most feel was an unmitigated disaster. I’ll not join them today.
While I have not softened my position one bit on George W. Bush and while I will not wax forgiving on this last day of his reign, I will take a slightly different approach in my parting comments. That is, I feel that we are all to blame for Bush. He was an egotistical, incompetent oaf, but I think that somewhere deep down, he KNEW that. He was in over his head from the get-go. In this democracy of ours, it was the American people and both political parties who were his co-conspirators.
The GOP must shoulder the blame for Bush’s first term. Faced with an impossible political position – the sitting president was popular, well-spoken and over-saw a period of peace and prosperity – they resorted to a long, expensive and ultimately hopeless smear campaign. When Clinton’s Achilles Heel emerged in the summer of Monica, the GOP clamped down on it like a starving pit bull. Al Gore could not escape the shadow of his former boss and the GOP offered up a goofy good-old boy from Texas with a well-know family name. When even that was not quite enough, they essentially stole the election. And we, the people, let them do it. In some sense, Bush was merely an innocent, if idiotic, victim along for the ride and the good times it would bring. Then came 9/11.
While I blame the GOP for giving us Bush, I place a great deal of the blame for our having kept him for eight years on the Democrats . By the election of 2004, it was already clear that Bush was a disaster. He should have been easy pickings. But who did the Dems offer us as an alternative -- John Kerry. As much as I hated Bush, I felt no comfort in casting a vote for Kerry, who probably would have been every bit as bad as W. I did vote for Kerry, of course, but it was a ballot cast totally without enthusiasm or confidence.
The litany of Bush’s failures is well-known, and I’ll not repeat the most obvious of those. But, in addition to the usual list, Bush left us a divided, fearful people with precious little hope for anything better. And so, the world editorialists are correct, the Bush presidency was an unmitigated disaster. But, in a democracy, it is we, the people, who put that fool in office – twice. And now, it is we, the people, who are paying the price, not for his foolishness, but for ours.
While I have not softened my position one bit on George W. Bush and while I will not wax forgiving on this last day of his reign, I will take a slightly different approach in my parting comments. That is, I feel that we are all to blame for Bush. He was an egotistical, incompetent oaf, but I think that somewhere deep down, he KNEW that. He was in over his head from the get-go. In this democracy of ours, it was the American people and both political parties who were his co-conspirators.
The GOP must shoulder the blame for Bush’s first term. Faced with an impossible political position – the sitting president was popular, well-spoken and over-saw a period of peace and prosperity – they resorted to a long, expensive and ultimately hopeless smear campaign. When Clinton’s Achilles Heel emerged in the summer of Monica, the GOP clamped down on it like a starving pit bull. Al Gore could not escape the shadow of his former boss and the GOP offered up a goofy good-old boy from Texas with a well-know family name. When even that was not quite enough, they essentially stole the election. And we, the people, let them do it. In some sense, Bush was merely an innocent, if idiotic, victim along for the ride and the good times it would bring. Then came 9/11.
While I blame the GOP for giving us Bush, I place a great deal of the blame for our having kept him for eight years on the Democrats . By the election of 2004, it was already clear that Bush was a disaster. He should have been easy pickings. But who did the Dems offer us as an alternative -- John Kerry. As much as I hated Bush, I felt no comfort in casting a vote for Kerry, who probably would have been every bit as bad as W. I did vote for Kerry, of course, but it was a ballot cast totally without enthusiasm or confidence.
The litany of Bush’s failures is well-known, and I’ll not repeat the most obvious of those. But, in addition to the usual list, Bush left us a divided, fearful people with precious little hope for anything better. And so, the world editorialists are correct, the Bush presidency was an unmitigated disaster. But, in a democracy, it is we, the people, who put that fool in office – twice. And now, it is we, the people, who are paying the price, not for his foolishness, but for ours.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
A Birthday and a Death: Two Major Influences
Well, here I am again, less than 24 hours after what was largely an obligatory posting and one year to the day since I started this blog. And today, I want to make note of two men who had a major influence on my life.
In a sense, this rather coincidental pairing seems odd. These two men were most likely very, very different. In fact, one of them I have never met while the other I have communicated with regularly for the past 25 years. The first of these is Jerome David Salinger, commonly known as J. D. Salinger, who turns 90 today. The second is Norman J. Konzen, who frequently went by N. J. Konzen, who died on Christmas Day, a little more than a month after his 91st birthday.
I first read J. D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye" when I was a 16-year old Junior in High School. To say it played a major role in my life would be a huge understatement. After reading "Catcher" I next read everything else that Salinger had written: Nine Stories, Franny & Zooey and Raise High the Roofbeam Carpenters. I even had an opportunity to use the line in a wedding toast for a friend of mine: "Raise high the roofbeam, carpenters. Like Aries comes the bridegroom, taller far than a tall man." When I ran out of current material I scoured the library seeking out old short stories that he had published in The New Yorker. Next I turned to other authors that Salinger had mentioned in his works. I read Franz Kafka and ultimately F. Scott Fitzgerald. Reading Fitzgerald sent me down an even longer road of discovery, and an English Major was created.
I ended up reading "Catcher" several more times. How many? I don't know, maybe a dozen. The last time I read it was for a class on "coming of age" that I had taken as part of my course work for my second Masters. In that last reading, I think I had a new insight as to what was really bothering Holden Caufield. He was emotionally constipated. He took everything in and let nothing out. He was literally holdin' everything. In that sense, I think he was a lot like me, or I like him. And so, today, J. D. Salinger turns 90. Happy birthday, if you're really still around, hiding out somewhere in New England.
Norm Konzen was my first boss and my mentor in the world of banking. Norm was quite a character, fastidious to a degree that most could never imagine. He took nerve pills, drank 1 and 1/2 Manhattens every evening -- "one is not enough and two are too many" -- had a beloved parakeet named Petey and loved to play golf. He had more golf balls than he could ever use. Every Christmas, every birthday, people bought Norm golf balls. But, as he used to say, "I don't hit them far enough to lose them or hard enough to bruise them." And he was right -- Norm played golf every weekend and he never broke 90. But, he turned me on to the game, and it has been a major part of my life for the past quarter century. Unlike Norm, I broke 90 -- one time!
Interestingly, Norm also taught me a lot about -- sex! Well, at least he taught me all I really needed to know. "I'm not very good, but I'm enthusiastic," Norm always said. I try to live by that motto.
Despite being about as old-fashioned as a guy could be, Norm could see the future. I came back from vacation one day in 1981 and there was a memo that went out announcing that the bank was forming a micro-computer task force. I knew nothing about computers, had no interest in them and so I threw the memo away. Norm retrieved it from the trash and said, "I think you better apply for this." So, I BS'd my way through the application and was one of 14 employees selected to get an Apple Computer and some training on how to use it. It was that selection that has kept me employed for the past 28 years.
I only worked with Norm for a little under two years when he retired and moved to Florida with his wife. I would send him a letter each year on his birthday -- November 20th -- and he would write to me every Christmas. The past several years Norm's health has been slipping badly. He was nearly blind. Thanks to the magic of computers, I kept increasing the font size of my letters so that he could still read them. I visited him once in Florida and he came up to South Bend for a visit 6 or 8 years ago. That was the last time I saw him. He called me once at work when I was out and he left a voice message for me. In that message he thanked me for my letters and he told me that he loved me. No non-relative male had ever said that to me, before or since, and I doubt that any ever will.
This year's Christmas letter, written by his wife because Norm was too ill, was sadly prophetic. She wrote, "This holiday season will be a very sad one for the Konzens." Little did she know that he would die on Christmas Day.
So, two men, both in their 90s, both with a major impact on the chain of events that has been my life.
Happy Birthday, and Rest in Peace.
In a sense, this rather coincidental pairing seems odd. These two men were most likely very, very different. In fact, one of them I have never met while the other I have communicated with regularly for the past 25 years. The first of these is Jerome David Salinger, commonly known as J. D. Salinger, who turns 90 today. The second is Norman J. Konzen, who frequently went by N. J. Konzen, who died on Christmas Day, a little more than a month after his 91st birthday.
I first read J. D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye" when I was a 16-year old Junior in High School. To say it played a major role in my life would be a huge understatement. After reading "Catcher" I next read everything else that Salinger had written: Nine Stories, Franny & Zooey and Raise High the Roofbeam Carpenters. I even had an opportunity to use the line in a wedding toast for a friend of mine: "Raise high the roofbeam, carpenters. Like Aries comes the bridegroom, taller far than a tall man." When I ran out of current material I scoured the library seeking out old short stories that he had published in The New Yorker. Next I turned to other authors that Salinger had mentioned in his works. I read Franz Kafka and ultimately F. Scott Fitzgerald. Reading Fitzgerald sent me down an even longer road of discovery, and an English Major was created.
I ended up reading "Catcher" several more times. How many? I don't know, maybe a dozen. The last time I read it was for a class on "coming of age" that I had taken as part of my course work for my second Masters. In that last reading, I think I had a new insight as to what was really bothering Holden Caufield. He was emotionally constipated. He took everything in and let nothing out. He was literally holdin' everything. In that sense, I think he was a lot like me, or I like him. And so, today, J. D. Salinger turns 90. Happy birthday, if you're really still around, hiding out somewhere in New England.
Norm Konzen was my first boss and my mentor in the world of banking. Norm was quite a character, fastidious to a degree that most could never imagine. He took nerve pills, drank 1 and 1/2 Manhattens every evening -- "one is not enough and two are too many" -- had a beloved parakeet named Petey and loved to play golf. He had more golf balls than he could ever use. Every Christmas, every birthday, people bought Norm golf balls. But, as he used to say, "I don't hit them far enough to lose them or hard enough to bruise them." And he was right -- Norm played golf every weekend and he never broke 90. But, he turned me on to the game, and it has been a major part of my life for the past quarter century. Unlike Norm, I broke 90 -- one time!
Interestingly, Norm also taught me a lot about -- sex! Well, at least he taught me all I really needed to know. "I'm not very good, but I'm enthusiastic," Norm always said. I try to live by that motto.
Despite being about as old-fashioned as a guy could be, Norm could see the future. I came back from vacation one day in 1981 and there was a memo that went out announcing that the bank was forming a micro-computer task force. I knew nothing about computers, had no interest in them and so I threw the memo away. Norm retrieved it from the trash and said, "I think you better apply for this." So, I BS'd my way through the application and was one of 14 employees selected to get an Apple Computer and some training on how to use it. It was that selection that has kept me employed for the past 28 years.
I only worked with Norm for a little under two years when he retired and moved to Florida with his wife. I would send him a letter each year on his birthday -- November 20th -- and he would write to me every Christmas. The past several years Norm's health has been slipping badly. He was nearly blind. Thanks to the magic of computers, I kept increasing the font size of my letters so that he could still read them. I visited him once in Florida and he came up to South Bend for a visit 6 or 8 years ago. That was the last time I saw him. He called me once at work when I was out and he left a voice message for me. In that message he thanked me for my letters and he told me that he loved me. No non-relative male had ever said that to me, before or since, and I doubt that any ever will.
This year's Christmas letter, written by his wife because Norm was too ill, was sadly prophetic. She wrote, "This holiday season will be a very sad one for the Konzens." Little did she know that he would die on Christmas Day.
So, two men, both in their 90s, both with a major impact on the chain of events that has been my life.
Happy Birthday, and Rest in Peace.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Another New Year's Eve
To tell you the truth, I really do not have much to say in this post. But, I started this blog on New Year's Day, the first day of 2008, and so it only seems appropriate to write something on this new Year's Eve, the last day of the year.
This should come as no surprise, since much of my blogging seems to be nothing more than public complaining, but I really do not like NYE. And, I never have. It is probably my least favorite holiday, and there are many holidays of which I am not particularly fond.
Why don't I like New Year's Eve? I suppose I could come up with many reasons. Like Valentine's Day, I am usually alone when the clock strikes mid-night. And, on those occassions when I had sort of a special person in my life, she was usually kissing someone else at the turn of the year. But, that is an extremely petty reason which really holds no significant place in my life anymore. This year I am lucky enough to truly have a special someone in my life, but she is working tonight and I am sitting home, watching football, surfing the net and playing game after game of FreeCell on my computer. But, really, I am more than OK with that. So, that is not the reason for my disliking this night, either.
I think when I cut through everything and do all of my self psycho-analysis the real reason I do not like NYE is because I am an emotioanl pack-rat. I just do not like to let go of things, even when those things may not be particularly good. I just always hate to see the year end. I think I have always been that way.
A lot of people will find a lot of things not to like about 2008. I suppose I could, too. Gas prices were high, the Cubs blew another chance, the economy tanked. There is probably more -- probably some real big stuff that I am forgetting. But, I think I have been blessed with a pretty short memory for bad things. That is kind of strange for someone who can be a real downer at times.
Oh well, I think I could start rambling, and there is no grace in that. Nor do I want to get nostalgiac. That is not particulary attractive, either. But, I will tend to remember the good things about this past year. I wrote a few songs in the early part of the year and had a few satisfying shows that proved to be a lot of fun. Terry, my golf partner, and I won our division in the golf league this year. My list of outdoor critters that I feed has exploded -- at least 5 cats, 2 VERY FAT racoons, an oppossum, 4 regular squirrels, at least one little red tree squirrel and a gazzilion birds -- Cardinals, Blue Jays, at least 2 varieties of woodpeckers, and now, in the winter -- snowbirds.
Barack Obama was elected president. That is really, really good. Because he is our first African-American president? No, not really. Just because he seems to be an intelligent man of vision. If he accomplishes nothing else in his term as president, for a moment, at least, he has given us hope. And, after 8 incredibly disastrous years under GW Bush, that is no mean feat.
It is now 9:45. I have had a chocolate bourbon ball -- a type of candy that my son's mother-in-law makes. That will be my alcohol for the night. I will make it to mid-night, only because my girlfriend is supposed to call me from work at that time. And to the rest of you: "Happy New Year!"
Just don't be too hard on 2008. It did the best it could.
This should come as no surprise, since much of my blogging seems to be nothing more than public complaining, but I really do not like NYE. And, I never have. It is probably my least favorite holiday, and there are many holidays of which I am not particularly fond.
Why don't I like New Year's Eve? I suppose I could come up with many reasons. Like Valentine's Day, I am usually alone when the clock strikes mid-night. And, on those occassions when I had sort of a special person in my life, she was usually kissing someone else at the turn of the year. But, that is an extremely petty reason which really holds no significant place in my life anymore. This year I am lucky enough to truly have a special someone in my life, but she is working tonight and I am sitting home, watching football, surfing the net and playing game after game of FreeCell on my computer. But, really, I am more than OK with that. So, that is not the reason for my disliking this night, either.
I think when I cut through everything and do all of my self psycho-analysis the real reason I do not like NYE is because I am an emotioanl pack-rat. I just do not like to let go of things, even when those things may not be particularly good. I just always hate to see the year end. I think I have always been that way.
A lot of people will find a lot of things not to like about 2008. I suppose I could, too. Gas prices were high, the Cubs blew another chance, the economy tanked. There is probably more -- probably some real big stuff that I am forgetting. But, I think I have been blessed with a pretty short memory for bad things. That is kind of strange for someone who can be a real downer at times.
Oh well, I think I could start rambling, and there is no grace in that. Nor do I want to get nostalgiac. That is not particulary attractive, either. But, I will tend to remember the good things about this past year. I wrote a few songs in the early part of the year and had a few satisfying shows that proved to be a lot of fun. Terry, my golf partner, and I won our division in the golf league this year. My list of outdoor critters that I feed has exploded -- at least 5 cats, 2 VERY FAT racoons, an oppossum, 4 regular squirrels, at least one little red tree squirrel and a gazzilion birds -- Cardinals, Blue Jays, at least 2 varieties of woodpeckers, and now, in the winter -- snowbirds.
Barack Obama was elected president. That is really, really good. Because he is our first African-American president? No, not really. Just because he seems to be an intelligent man of vision. If he accomplishes nothing else in his term as president, for a moment, at least, he has given us hope. And, after 8 incredibly disastrous years under GW Bush, that is no mean feat.
It is now 9:45. I have had a chocolate bourbon ball -- a type of candy that my son's mother-in-law makes. That will be my alcohol for the night. I will make it to mid-night, only because my girlfriend is supposed to call me from work at that time. And to the rest of you: "Happy New Year!"
Just don't be too hard on 2008. It did the best it could.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Slow Time For Bloggers
It has been quite a while since I have posted anything on this blog. I was starting to feel a bit guilty about that. By starting this blog, I had created in myself a sense of responsibility to keep it going and to try to post interesting (??) things from time to time. Obviously, I have not been upholding my part of the bargain.
But then, I took a quick look around and found that the malaise that I am experiencing seems to be epidemic. There are six blogs that I follow on a somewhat regular basis. One of them has not posted anything since Agust 31, and that is the most recent of the six. Another posted an OLD joke on August 28. My most reliable fellow blogger -- the one who actually inspired me to pursue this project in the first place -- has not posted anything since August 11, and that was a cartoon that I submitted to the blogger. To find the blog's last original post, I have to go back to August 2. Two other blogs that I follow have not posted since July 31 and July 20. And, sadly, the most active blogger of all completely closed up shop.
So, I am feeling a bit less guilty. Even if I am merely recounting our lack of activity, at least that is a sort of activity in and of itself.
(I know, I know ... its a low-down sneaky trick, but deperate times call for desperate measures!)
But then, I took a quick look around and found that the malaise that I am experiencing seems to be epidemic. There are six blogs that I follow on a somewhat regular basis. One of them has not posted anything since Agust 31, and that is the most recent of the six. Another posted an OLD joke on August 28. My most reliable fellow blogger -- the one who actually inspired me to pursue this project in the first place -- has not posted anything since August 11, and that was a cartoon that I submitted to the blogger. To find the blog's last original post, I have to go back to August 2. Two other blogs that I follow have not posted since July 31 and July 20. And, sadly, the most active blogger of all completely closed up shop.
So, I am feeling a bit less guilty. Even if I am merely recounting our lack of activity, at least that is a sort of activity in and of itself.
(I know, I know ... its a low-down sneaky trick, but deperate times call for desperate measures!)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Dancing the Night Away
I was in Louisville, KY this past weekend for my grandson's fourth birthday. I suppose it would be appropriate to post some deep and thoughtful comments on that event, either from the perspective of the passage of time or simply as a celebration of this mini-milestone. But, I am going to do neither. Instead, I am using this post merely as a vehicle to post this short video of my grandson and 15-month old granddaughter dancing on the deck of an outdoor restaurant/bar. Obviously, they were having a great time.
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